Jenn's Reverie

the art of being unorganized. My life is so unorganized right now. ALL of it! I just can't get back on track no matter how hard I try. I can't get my bills in the same order I used to have them. I can't even get something like my room cleaned. I have clothes everywhere right now. I definitely can't get a sleeping pattern, not that I've ever had one. I just don't sleep anymore. I feel great if I manage to get in 5 hours. I can't even sleep when my son isn't here. That's when I should be taking advantage of it too. But nooo! I don't know what's going on! I don't have the energy to do anything either. Work, but that's because I have no choice. I don't want to drive anywhere, I don't want to do anything, I don't even get ready anymore. Maybe I need to start eating my Wheaties and taking some Flinstone vitamins. My social life is just as unorganized, it seems as though I never keep my promises with friends anymore. Well that could be due to the fact that I'm tired of being the one always being there. I'm not saying they need to be there for me, but I guess my shoulders need a break. Especially financially! My friends seem to think that I work in a profession that pays me at high dollar. And I've just recently started to realize that some have gotten use to me always paying. Lately, I've been like avoiding saying "I got it," or "don't worry" and it seems to freak some of them out. Well, I didn't realize it but I spend A LOT of money on my friends. I mean I don't mind and some do return the favor when they can. But I need to get my priorties straight. Well I know what they should be, but I need to get back on that track. I'm broke! Do you know that I've never had to say that?! No, I'm not rich, but I do alright. And I usually don't have a problem getting what I need or want. That goes for myself or my son, and I am having that problem and I don't like it. I've been working tons of over time. But hey, it's only my fault. I guess I'll be working the OT for a while. Going in at 3am and getting out at 3pm. Twelve hours isn't that bad. So hopefully I'll get my shit together real soon. With my financial situation, my friends, even my love life. I can say, that I've actually had the chance to watch tv though! I hadn't done that in ages. Not that I watch anything other then some show that remodels cars or houses! But hey, that's what tickles my fancy so shush. I need to get off my ass and give this house a really good cleaning. But that's frustrating, given it'll be dirty withing the following two days. Oh well, it needs to be done. I finally got my son to his first dental appointment. He has a cavity that they're gonna crown. I knew it though. This kid wants to live off of junk food and when he's at grandma's (dads mom) he gets to live it up. I mean he doesn't eat strictly vegetables here, but he knows he can go hungry if he's crying for just junk food. I know, I'm a mean Mom! Oh stop! He's a big boy and it's for his own good. Tough love! And it seems as though I'm the only one with that capability when it comes to my son, so I gotta do what I gotta do! Dad's tough love comes differently. It's not always tough love, sometimes he's just an ass. But whatever, he was born one! But I won't go there. Maybe one of these days but not now. Well it's late and I'm sure I won't sleep, SO I guess I'll get some bills paid. Yet again, another broke week. So until next time...

Keep your shit straight, it's easier that way!