Jenn's Reverie

So mom's outta town this weekend and that means I'll be needing a babysitter for Damian. So I thought I'd tell the "sperm donor" if he wanted to switch weekends. I'd been needing to anyway for when I go to California. Anyhow, naturally it's a problem for him. So he'll be taking him only one night this weekend in exchange for having him two next weekend. I didn't even argue, I just said okay, because really, I have no choice. I gotta go to work and someone needs to watch him. Anyhow, his mom called and told me to call him so that we can figure out a time for me to take him, of course. He NEVER picks him up. Or maybe I shouldn't say never, but 99.8% of the time he doesn't. His mom will, but she's different then he is. So anyway, I called and asked him what time was a good time to take Damian. Naturally, as late as possible. So again, I don't argue. Then we have a conversation that goes. . .

Me - "What are we gonna do for his birthday?"
Ross - "Nothing." (pause) "Why?"
Me - "Um, because it's in like two weeks?!"
Ross - "Well we don't have to throw him a party every year."
Me - (thinking. . . um, I'VE thrown him a party every year. YOU never have! Though I didn't say this.)
Me - "Well I was thinking maybe just Peter Pipers, I don't want to spend as much as I did last year." (I'd spent over $800 on his bed and dropped about another $200 on the party, alone, thank you. He was SUPPOSED to give me money for the bed but yeah right. The year before I dropped like $300 on his party, for a clown and stuff).
Ross - "Whatever."
Me - "I'll call you when I'm on the way."

I fucken HATE the bastard! Hate is such a strong word, but I do believe that I truly hate him. I don't know why I always keep my damn cool with that loser either. I guess I do it for Damian. But in the end, he's the only one getting hurt. I'm sure he's already been fighting with his girlfriend about it. She's probably throwing her little temper tantrums like she knows how. Bitching that he shouldn't be going to the party without her. Funny, because I've always said she could go to his parties. But this year, after all the drama she's caused, it's a no go. Stupid bitch thinks she's supposed to come before Damian. (Which in any case, he puts everything and everyone before Damian.) Now she throws in his face that he needs to be a father to their son more so than Damian. I know I said I wouldn't get in another fight, well I lied. I am going to hit that bitch when I see her. I don't care if she does kick my ass. Just as long as I get to hit her, just once! It would be freakin' orgasmic. And I'd definately make fun of her face. I mean, girls that shave their eyebrows, one word, fuckup! That welfare living, foodstamp eating, housing living, system based whore needs to be put in a home. (Not to mention two kids from two guys at just the age of 20.) I guess I need to remember how mad I am, so that I can finally do something about it. I usually end up waking up, and feel like it's all not worth it. But I need to remember that it is. Just take my ass to the child support office and lay it on him. I never do because I'm always freaking out that it's gonna turn into a custody battle. The sad part, he'd only be doing it to hurt me, not because he really wants custody. I don't know what the fuck I'm worried about. He'd only get every other weekend, and maybe every other Tuesday. I guess, it's just a scary thought. So yeah, I need to remember how fucken pissed off I am right now, so that I can get things right. For my son, no one else. He WILL have a party. I'm thinking a party without dad. It wouldn't be surprising. So, I'm sure the following two weeks will be full of fun for me. God give me patience, but give me the strength to do what's right, for Damian!! Until next time. . .

I will hit a bitch and his girlfriend too!