Jenn's Reverie

So I just did a post, and it got gone. It's my fault though. I clicked the "Encoding" options, because I was being all 'Curious George' and I lost it. So I'm mad, but at myself. Go me. So, I'll TRY to remember how my post went. . . I wanted to post, but now I'm not up to it, because I'm not feeling too hott. It's the ventilation here in the office. It's a pretty old building, and we have no outside air. None. So they need to come clean the vents again. It feels like a really bad head-cold or sinus infection. Headache, nose hurts, eyes hurt, feel tired, weak and so forth. It really sucks. Not to mention, all of my co-workers bitching about the same symtoms. So that has me down. Then, I just finished reading Jay's blog, and that got me down too. Not saying it's your fault Jay, but like I said in your blog, I couldn't agree more. It's not that I don't know there's a war going on, or all these other things, but I like to pretend it's non-exitant when I can. The reason being is because it seriously depresses and scares the shit out of me. I am by-far not an easy person to bring down, but that shit really hits me hard. I can only think of my son when this is brought to mind. Him, his safety and his happiness. It makes me sick to my stomach. It also disgusts me how people are so petty. I think 90% of the shit people dwell on is petty. I just know that, you only live once, and there's no time for me to be a cry baby about stupid shit. Like freakin' relationships. Everyone is so caught up in wanting to be with someone. Yeah, we all get lonely, but what are you gonna do? Sit in a corner all day, be so depressed you can't eat, and talk to no one. Not me. I would love to have someone to hold me, but if I can't right now, then so be it. I may end up one of those old ladies who's never been married and has only my cats or my dog. But at least I'll be able to say, 'I was happy with what I was given.' I'll make the best of what I can. The relationship thing just came to mind, because it seems like that's all anyone cares about right now. Well, except Katie. She's the best. She's happy with her life. And isn't sad because she doesn't have a boyfriend. She'll make due with the boys she stumbles upon here and there. I'm not saying I'm all hardass either. I've been hurt too. There's someone I wish I could be with right now and it really sucks that I can't. So I do what I can. Yeah, sometimes it does bring me down. But again, what can I do? I guess, it just feels better to be happy. Sometimes I think some people like feeling "down." That, I just don't get. Like right now, I'm mad at me for being sad and mad. Not to mention, work has been really busy, and it's pissing me off. I don't know why either. I guess it's 'cause I don't feel like talking to anyone. And feeling sick isn't exactly helping either. Actually, being sick is probably what started it all. Stupid vents. Well, I guess I'm done here. And it looks like I posted anyway. Sorry for being all cry baby 'n stuff. And hypocritical. 'Cause right now I'm bitching for no reason. But I'm done now. But first, on a happier note, my son's the best and his smile makes my world brighter. And Bello, usted es mi ensueno.

I wish I could travel back in time, to change the way you fixed your mind. . .