Jenn's Reverie

Monday, November 01, 2004

My Dreams & My Baby

Strange enough I dreamt about my Dad last night. It's rare that I dream about him. In my dream, he met one of my friends. I remember hugging him and it feeling so real. In the dream he was a ghost, but no one knew. Then I opened my big mouth and made him mad. Mom had known the whole time. Me and my big mouth. I hate dreams. I know, I shouldn't, blah blah. But my dreams are never good. They're always bad or terribly weird. Usually I don't dream, but for the past week or so, it's been non-stop. It can't be the drugs, or can it? I didn't think acid had that affect, or something. So anyhow, even more weird, my son today asked, as he usually does on occasion, "Mom, who's your dad?" So I tell him, "Grandpa Danny." And he usually starts on the conversation of, "I didn't know him." Today, for the first time he asked, "What did he look like?" So I told him, "Like your Uncle Danny, Uncle Eddie and me!" It was a great conversation. Then he said, "I wish I knew him." So I told him that Grandpa Danny is waiting for us when we get our wings. For the past week or so my son has started the "I don't want the world to change. I want everyone to be the same. I don't want to die. I don't want you to die." He's six years old!! Where he gets this stuff, I don't know. If it were up to him he would be 6 forever. He's not excited to grow up and drive and work and all that fun stuff kids look forward to. He's just fine being a kid and playing with toys. My Mom told me he brought it up to her too. She asked, "Why do you think he's like that?" I told her, "Damian just loves life! He loves his family and friends. He loves everything and anything. He appreciates the smallest things. And for his age knows not to take things for granted." She agreed. It just always makes us kinda "weirded" when he's in that state-of-mind. I think some of it has to do with my Grandpa passing away last year. Of all the kids, Damian was the only one who understood then what death was. He mentions my Grandpa now and then, and say's how he misses him. He has a very good understanding of death. So I think some of it stems from that. Also, like I said, his love for life. He wakes up happy, he goes to sleep happy. He's extactic with a dollar toy. He knows the value of money, and it doesn't bother him to get a cheap toy. He loves to love. When we're driving somewhere, in a fifteen minute drive, he'll have said, "I love you, Mom" at least twice. And it's always just out-of-the-blue. He's always so excited to see my nieces, or a friend. He lights up when he sees his dad or anybody on that side of the family. He loves his little brother, and his dads, girlfriends son. He doesn't like when anyone argues or fights. Given, any kid doesn't. If he hears someone talking bad about someone else, he throw in his opinion on the person being talked about and make sure you know that there's good sides to them. He used to say that I couldn't have a boyfriend. How cute, huh?! But now he's okay with it. I finally asked him one day why he didn't want me to have a boyfriend and he said something along the lines of, "because then you'll always fight like my dad and Angelica." So I had to explain to him that his dad and Angelica just didn't have a healthy relationship. I then gave him plenty of examples of happy couples that we know. Then I had to yell at his dad and tell him that our son's view of a relationship was fighting because of him and his girlfriend. From what I know, they don't fight in front of him anymore. Which is good, because I was ready and still am ready to get gangster to the core on them. For real, I'll walk up in there all West Siiiiide! Haha. Anyhow, my son amazes me everyday. I'm blessed to have such a beautiful person in my life. He reminds me to be happy with the cards I'm dealt. Sometimes I don't know what to tell a 6 year old that say's "I don't want to die," or "Mom, I don't want you to die." But in the end, my words come out fine. Afterall, I do have that "motherly instinct." That instinct rocks! Plus, I'm just psychic or something. I'll have to do a post on that too. It's actually pretty scary. So you don't have to tell me, I already know! Haha, I kid! I kid! Don't get all, "Oh no! She already knows! What do I do?!" But I do have some kind of psychic shit going on. Just call me "Madam Jenn." To hell with Cleo! Okay, I went completely off on some weird rant, but that's okay too. Until next time!

"Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first." ~Mignon McLaughlin
posted by Jenn Doll at 2:33 AM

1 Comments:

He has a great attitude. We can learn a lot from kids.
p.s maybe you can start a psychic blog...that would be cool.

4:14 PM  

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