Jenn's Reverie

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

~ Katie

I was telling Katie, that I wanted to blog, but I had nothing to blog about, so she said, "Well, you could always talk about me." DEAL! First, here's what she and Keegan had to say the other day when I posted a pic of my son and his dog.

Katie said...
Max looks like my dog at home, Bailey. I always thought she looked more like a golden retriever than a german shepard. Max and Bailey could have some puppies together, if Bailey wasn't neutered. She was a slut dog, and had puppies when she was 11 months old or some shit, before we got her at the pound. My dog is a whore.

DyingBurningFighting said...
Dogs are cool. I had a little yorkshire terrier. It was a tiny little thing, about as big as my foot, but the little bastard would bark at and chase dogs as big as cars. He was a crazy, stupid, and possibly suicidal little dog, but he was so cute too. You now what they say, a dog's personality often resembles that of it's owner. But what does that say about Katie?

Bildo said...
Katie you dyke I want to be the flower girl. Did the stripper teabag you in the forehead?

Just thought I'd share that with you, in case any of you missed it. I tried not to laugh, Katie. I really did. I love you, no matter what!

Here's some of the things Katie has said. . .

"What did I do before Jenn introduced me to blogging? I don't even rememeber. Speaking of Mexicans, Jenn just called me and talked my goddamn ear off. I feel like me and Sharon, her co-worker, are friends now. We had lots to catch up up, and I still can't feel my right ear. I love being able to talk all girly with you lady. And I love getting girly with you! Lesbian what?"

"So don't miss me tomorrow kids. I'll be busy eating good Chicago pizza, molesting my family and getting my Rufus Wainwright on. And talking about all of you behind your backs."

"I have offcially decided that I am a giant douche bag."

"I can just imagine the conversation between me and my parents now.
Mom: Kate, you graduated school 5 years ago. Are you planning on getting a job and oh say, moving out anytime soon? Your father and I were really looking forward to that empty nest sometime soon.
Me: (I am now morbidly obese, live in the basement and eat a diet consisting solely of Cheetos) Ehh, not really. I'm kinda tired today. I think I'm going to take a nap.
Dad: But you just got up two hours ago. And really? You don't want to find a job and move out? Really?
Me: Well maybe I can look tomorrow, but a Real World:Dover marathon is on, so I'm not making any promises. Get off my back about it anyways. I do what I want, bitches."

" I hate when people say, "What the shit?" No. It's either "What the fuck?" or "Holy shit" or even "What the hell?" NOT "what the shit". It just sounds stupid. Ok, I'm going to bed."

"When Keri came up to visit, I asked her to bring me some conditioner because I didn't have any more. I guess they only had one bottle of it at home and my mom didn't want to give it up. So what bright idea does she come up with? Getting an old, empty ketchup bottle and pouring some conditioner in there. Now it looks like I eat French fries in the shower."

" I made out with an 18 year old boy at a party last night. Nothing classier than making out in front of 100 other people, right?"

"I wear a coat appropriate namely Gay Pride. Not The Gay Pride. Just Gay Pride. You wouldn't call me The Katie, would you? Didn't think so."

"I repeatedly hit my friend Chuck in the balls last night with my purse. It was funny to me until the last time I hit him, then my phone went flying. I thought I broke it because none of the buttons were working, but it's fine this morning. I need to learn some manners. No more hitting gentlemen in the balls. Promise."

"There's no experience like a stripper in a g-string shoving his penis in your face and then having some of his sweat drip on you. It was great."

"I managed to start drinking again at 4:00 and continued until midnight."

"I proceeded to get extremely drunk there and made an ass out of myself."

"I said I was going to have a beer after I finished all my homework, but I didn't wait til I was done, and now I'm drunk, with 5 journals left to do."

"I had a very fun, drunken time last night."

"I'm drunk and mad."

" We went back to his apartment to drink with some friends, and he bought Budweiser to drink. So I had to drink Budweiser after he had just spoiled me with 2 Rolling Rocks."

"We were drinking beer and then he was making us martini's."

"What the fuck Emily, you better get drunk with me tonight, or I'll get drunker than I've ever been and really embarass you, which you know is my speciallty when I'm drunk."

" It was $1 you-call-its, and thank god it was or else I would have whipped out my debit card and racked up a tab of $86 dollars. I don't know how I'm going to afford it when I finally do turn 21."

"Keystone Light was the beer of choice, and I might add, cheap beer at it's finest. The night ended with five of us girls singing church songs."

"Goddamnit. I'm drunk."

Ah, the college life. I really do admire Katie. She still manages to get good grades all while enjoying her time. She's one sexy bitch and smart as hell too. Don't let her fool you. Okay, finding all those quotes took me like 500 hours of going through archives and reading posts, so I'm gonna get off the computer now. But see, I love you, Katie. I put all this time and effort in just for you. You're the bestest. If anyone else wants to read up on more stories de Katie, click the title! Or she's first on my links of "Other Blog Rats"




posted by Jenn Doll at 7:33 PM

4 Comments:

I miss being a student, Katie could've be the pretty female version of me. I read yesterday that I have a substance abuse problem, so Katie and I can go to AA meetings together.

4:19 AM  

HA I can picture it now, you two in the basement screaming at your parents for not buying more cheetos.
Katie: "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAM, Goddamnit you were supposed to buy more cheetos and vanilla milk.
Katie's Mom: "Katie I'm worried about you, you haven't moved from the couch in 4 days. If you get any fatter we'll have to cut a wall out of the basement to get you out.

Then you two can have the Maury show bring cameras to your house and show you lying in bed unable to move because you're like 700 lbs now.

4:40 AM  

Remind me not to let you take pics if I stop by on my way to Cali and we get drunk.

11:24 AM  

Everybody loves me. I must be some sort of a greek god. And horridly hot.

I'll have to put some conditions on having my babies. You really wouldn't want me to ever have contact with any of my own offspring. We'd end up overthrowing the world. It'd be like, a superace of incredibly adorable little children who walked around telling everyone to "Fuck off bitch!" in their cute squeaky voices. It would be awesome.

6:34 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home