Jenn's Reverie

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Always The Bride's Maid, Never The Bride

As I've mentioned I've had three weddings to plan for. On Thursday night everyone going to Vegas for my brother's wedding, in which I'm the maid-of-honor came over and gave us the money for the rooms. It was fucking chaos! Everyone saying where they wanted to stay, and saying that they wanted a room with a view, who was sharing a room with who, the cost of it all, and making sure they were all near eachother. I was doing everything on-line when I finally yelled at everyone and told them that I'd get the right shit. So I ended up having to reserve all of the rooms. But, I got rooms with a view, I got them for cheap, I figured out who was sharing a room with who, and they're all on the same damn floor. Angelo will be the bestman, so him and I decided on splitting the cost of the chapel. God we're a great bestman and maid-of-honor. You better believe this! So anyhow, we'll be in Vegas in June, and it's gonna be fun. I'm taking my son, too. I'm excited about that. So is he. My mom volunteered to watch them so we can party. Woot! I love you, mom.

So on Friday night I had a wedding rehearsal at 6 for my cousin's wedding. The wedding is on Saturday and my dress isn't ready yet. When I went to try it on, it was way too big. When I went back on Friday before rehearsal, I had to wait because they were fixing it while I was there. Good Lord! I paid you over a month ago to make the dress. And you guys were NOT cheap! $175 bucks and the dress isn't ready? The wedding's TOMORROW! So, they finish, I try it on again, and it's STILL NOT RIGHT. They say, "we'll take it to the church." Fine, whatever. They half-assed it, but luckily my hair is long and covered that part. But for $175 bucks they could have at least had it ready sooner. Anyhow, I had planned my timing to be able to get home after rehearsal and give myself a french manicure and get ready for the wedding. Guess what? I hear the maid-of-honor telling my cousin (the bride to be) that they aren't gonna have time to do her nails. So, I'm thinking that's fucked up. SO, I tell my cousin I'll do her nails for her. We go to Wal-Mart and get the stuff for the nails. BUT before we leave, the maid-of-honor say's, "Jenn, can you get flowers for the hall?" Flowers for the hall?! Bitch! The wedding's tomorrow and you've known this for how long?! You're a grrrreat maid-of-honor! So me and my cousin are at Wal-Mart for at least an hour, killing my plans to be getting ready. I go back and do her nails, which takes at least an hour. THEN, one of the other bride's maid's asks if I'd do her nails, and she's really cool so I couldn't say no. Then all of a sudden everyone wants french manicures. I finally showed them how to do it and left. I didn't get home 'til about 11. Bullshit! I no longer wanted a french manicure since they all had it, so I ended up doing one anyway, except with the tips matching my dress instead of white. I'm cool like that. I finally pass out at about midnight and have to be up they said at 7 to go decorate the hall. The maid-of-honor said we were ALL going to be there. Bullshit. I was there, the bride's parents were there, the groom was there, bride's sister and groom's brother-n-law (maid-of-honor's husband). Guess who decorated the hall all by herself? That's right. Your's truly. And we didn't get there at 7:30 like we were supposed to. We go there at 9. I go wash my car LATE because they screwed me all up. Didn't get home and in the shower until 11. I have to leave at 12. Fuck a hair-do. It's their fault. So I just left it straight and boring. Get to the church. I'm the 2nd one there. Of course.

The ceremony was beautiful. My cousin was an emotinal wreck the entire time. Even before when we were in the bathroom waiting, she was crying. It was a trip to see because she doesn't cry for anything! Like seriously. She looked gorgeous and her groom did, too. After the ceremony we (wedding party) went to the gas station and it took everyone 10 days to do whatever it is they were doing. Then we all went to the groom's (maid-of-honor's) father's grave. Yeah, they made us all go. It's understandable that he'd want his dad there, but I don't even think it was his idea. I think it was his brother's (bestman). Then after that we went to someone's house so everyone could use the restroom. That only took us about two fucking hours. And where was the maid-of-honor when the bride needed to use it and needed help with the dress? Who knows? But guess who helped her? Right again! Your's truly. After that everyone's finally ready to go, so they said get in our cars. For what? I sat there for another fucking 20 minutes. Then we went to a park to take pictures. And we were there forever. Teh photographer sucked and didn't know how to pose people. So guess who ended up posing people? Mmhmm, me again. When we had went to their dad's grave I opened my mouth saying we should go to my granpa's too. So my uncle wouldn't let it go. So we all went there. It was rough for me, my three cousins, and my uncle. The day before marked two years since he'd been gone. Seemed like only yesterday. Anyhow, by this time at least 3 1/2 hours had passed so we decide to head to the hall. We were all starving to death!! On the way the bestman decided to make the whole wedding party follow him home to drop off his car. More fun. But we FINALLY got to the hall. I honked my horn so much it died, TWICE. I was so amused the whole time. Hey, it's not often you can just drive around honking your horn like a psycho and not get in trouble for it. So I took advantage of the situation. Oh, and the weather was nice so we got drive with the top down.

At the hall later in the night someone (my cousin Ernie) stole the bride. He had pretended he was going to and I said, "Fuckin' take her!" So he did. The groom saw, though. So he called later demanding a ransom of $160. He then called back and demanded the whole wedding party be outside when they get back. So I walked around the hall arm in arm with the groom, while he did a pimp strut (he was acting silly) telling people that they kidnapped his wife and he needed money to get her back. We got about $120 bucks in about 10 minutes. We all went outside and waited. My cousin has the same car as me and when they drove up, the top was down and the bride was sitting on the top of the car. Looked like she was having a blast. (FYI, my uncle was pissed when they stole her. We had to tell him to calm down because it was a fun tradition.) Later on my cousin gave the money to them in front of everyone. (Well, that's the point.)

I danced 'til it hurt and I wanted to cry. But I kept dancing. I danced for hours straight! I drank and only spent $25 bucks on my tab. Score! I had thee best dance partners ever! My cousin Ernie, his friend Ray, and the groom. We got to Ranchera and Cumbia the night away. (No salsa, damnit.) And we danced to some old school, too. All in all, it was a great night. My cousin was happy and that's what mattered. She thanked me for doing all of the maid-of-honors duties that entire day as I had continued through-out the night. So the sincere thank you was enough to make my heart warm.

Next wedding, June 4th, Mariah & Adam. Mariah said, "If Adam has *insert friend's name here* (I'm lame, I freakin' know his name) stand in it, then you can stand with him. It's like, don't ask me like you're doing me a favor, stupid.

The wedding after, June 16, Eddie (my brother) & Marylyn. I'll be the maid-of-honor. I'm so excited! If I do stand in Mariah's wedding, which chances are not, this will mark wedding number 5 that I stand in. Maid-of-honor twice. Always the bride's maid, never the bride. BUT, it's because I'm loved.

That last post wasn't me, it was Katie. You guys are L-A-M-E. Katie has two on you guy's now. I'd have thought you'd get it after the first time. That post has Katie written all over it! Would I talk about my bones aching like an old hag? No, but Katie would. Would I say "nigga" on a post? No, but Katie would, if she's pretending to be me. Would I make fun of myself saying "Four score and 10,000 years ago?" No. Okay, yeah, but Katie definately would. Would I say that I'm addicted to MySpace? No, but Katie would. (I was only addicted for the firs two weeks. Andrew is the MySpace whore. But I did get like 10 people to join.) Going clubbing? No, Katie, I told you I had the wedding, dyke. Would I say "dagnabit?" No, but Katie would. Would I say, "It must be the Mexican in me?" NO! But Katie would! SLACKERS!

I'll stand in your wedding, too.
posted by Jenn Doll at 3:17 AM

9 Comments:

Damn showty what da word is? How come u wasn't at my wedding?

8:32 PM  

Everything worked out for the wedding! One down, only 2 more to go! You had a good time! I'm trying to wake myself up here with the exclamation points. You're making me really excited for the wedding I have to go to this summer. I'll be 21 and it's an open bar. It'll be glorious. Wanna be my date?

You also made me very glad that I'm not going to be a maid of honor or a bridesmaid for that matter anytime in the near future. I could never handle any of that shit. Well maybe I could handle it, but I definitly would not have the money for it. Very surprising I'm sure.

You do nails, pose people, arrange flowers, find rooms and chapels, and lift up dresses so people can go pee. Why don't you get paid for doing that shit? You are a very good friend and cousin.

I want to dance until I hurt. I do look like I'm hurting myself when I dance though, if that counts.

I got you good you fuckers. I'm awesome at disguising myself as Jenn and you should all bow down to me. You all have no idea how hard I laughed when I wrote "Dagnabbit." I'm cool, you know it.

I talked to you forever and wrote out this stupid comment, can I go to bed now Ma? Talk to you later ho.

3:42 AM  

Well, here's how I see it...

You guys are engaged to be married so there should definately be some trust. If there is a reason you don't trust her then I'd ask myself, "Is it because she gave me a reason?" or "Am I just jealous?" BUT seeing as how you said she'll flirt in front of you when she drinks is reason enough to not trust. Yes, flirting may be all in fun and innocent, but to me it's disrespectful, especially in front of your face. I think you made a good a decision, though. Letting her go means you trust her and are secure with yourself and your relationship. At the same time telling her as long as she doesn't drink showing that you're willing to work with her imperfections.

P.S. I think male strippers are gross! I refuse to see a man in a thong. REFUSE!

7:57 AM  

French manicures, flowers, decorating... You're a pushover mami.

...why would I invite you?

10:29 AM  

Oh yeah, I never even read the last post when I commented, so I had no idea it was Katie. I could probably have guessed though, since Katie talks cooler than you.

I'll admit I'm a MySpace whore, because I've added 200 guys to my list so they can tell me I'm hot. Awesome, huh?

10:40 AM  

DON'T fret- I've been the bride twice and never a bridesmaid. I'd rather be the bridesmaid!! However-I did get some pretty good wedding gifts out of it. Ha!!

2:32 PM  

hi jenn..will you be my bride? :p

7:38 AM  

oh my gosh its so long. im going to try and read the rest of it once i finish posting a little bit to everyone to let them know i care. your posts are so crazy nowadays i dont know what to say. maybe if i would actually finish one shame on me. but at least i try and i know maybe you might appreciate the thought. we know im bad at blogworld so anything is something perhaps. my mom and i have been talking about a trip to NM to see the aztec ruins or some crazy shit that she went to when she was a kid... maybe they still exist... if they do i want to get together for some funtimes. so ill let you know when this happens if you wanna like... do it. not " it" but it yanno? we can go to a club and shake our booties i suppose. i dont even know if thats how you entertain yourself anymore. i dontknow what you are up to... but i know thats my fault lol anyhow... i need to jet.... no not the band. gosh XOXO

2:57 AM  

Damn weddings. I do wonder where you are doing the Vegas one in June.

3:54 PM  

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