Jenn's Reverie
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Invisible Lines
I hate to touch on this subject again, but, I'm going to. So, the first time DJ Dickhead got me all riled up was when 14 year old girl called up and told her story of how she snuck out, smoked some weed that she didn't know was laced and ended up having sex with the boy she was with whom was not her boyfriend.
There were many different views and opinions on the subject. Some say she was raped, some say she wasn't, some say she was taken advantage of, some say it was her fault, and so on and so forth.
Anyhow, according to DJ Dickhead, it was her fault, no questions asked. So, I'm listening to him a while back and a 15 year old calls in with her story that went something like. . . 'She likes to have one-night-stands.' She said that she doesn't like the guys and she doesn't want anything to do with them after. DJ Dickhead was prying and got nothing. She straight up said, "I'm the group whore."
The problem DJ Dickhead was having was trying to make it her fault, well, because she already said she was doing it and she knew she was being a whore. So he had nothing. Eventually he asked her the ages of the boys/men she was sleeping with. She said they were anywhere from her age to their early twenties. This is when he said that she was being raped. Statutory.
Now, for the first time I can see his point. But, again, I'm stuck. At 15 I knew EXACTLY what I was doing. I know the law says that it's rape because she is not old enough to make decisions as such. I understand that, but I keep going back to when I was fifteen and again, I knew what was going on. I was with my ex (sons father) at fifteen. I was with him and only him until I left him at 22. He's roughly my age, seven months my junior, but we knew what we were doing.
I know I say man, but the situation can be reversed. I'm just using the "norm" for the situation. This "group whore" as she called herself said that her actions are not alcohol induced and that she just 'likes to.' I'm sure she's tempting the men, and now days girls of 15-18 are rocking figures like whoah! Which makes it hard to be like 'oh, she's only 15.' I know, no excuses. Just a thought.
So, basically it's up to the man that is of age to make these decisions to not get involved in them. I totally agree. I don't understand why a man of his twenties would be interested in a girl whose only 15. I just don't. There's a fine line though. I mean, a college (young) man at 18 or 19 may be interested in a highschool girl of 17, maybe 16. Is that a line crossed? When and where do we draw the line?
posted by Jenn Doll at 4:37 AM
35 Comments:
Its hard to say when to draw the line and make up new laws to tell us how we should act when we "know" how to act. I personally had a relationship with a 14 yr old when I was 17 and continued it through my college years. So if you looked at the numbers only what you saw was a 20 yr old college student dating a 17 yr old high school girl. Now mind you we had been dating for 3 years and all was cool. We did split and only a little bad blood, you know how things go at times. But what I am getting at is once the laws starts making the choice for us on things like what I went through will suddenly become illigeal. I do not agree with 20 some guys going after girls in there early teens but then 20 some women have to leave the teens guys to0. Having freedom is having the ability to choose, what one person sees as ok another might see something bad. So it is not a clear cut case and a hard call to make.
But it was not her fault, if those guys laced it with the intent to do this. You can argue all you want about her actions but she was not the one to lace her stuff, they did that. And DJ Dickhead would be signing a different tune if that was his little sister I think.
Honkeie2, PERFECT example! You started dating her when according to the law it was legal and continued with your relationship until according to the law it was not. I mean, what if her parents or someone were jerks and decided to press charges? THAT is not cool.
As for DJ Dickhead, many had the same opinion with the other girl that if it were his sister or daughter he'd be singing a different tune.
But, this girl says she wants to. So what's to be done? Can and should charges be pressed in any certain circumstance?
I had a 22 year old girlfriend when I was 15, and I knew what I was doing. She did not "rape" me. What is strange is that when I was 15 I didn't like 15 year olds, so as a 22 year old, I can't imagine being attracted to a 15 year old. Except, six or seven years ago, a 22 was attracted to me....
weird.
I think her parents might have lol. They still hate me to this day and I never really did anything bad that they knew of;-). I think they blamed me for her going insane, but what they did not know that she was like that when i met her, I only opened her cage door lol! And I would do it again if I could too wild and rare not to try and ride that animal again!
I don't understand why a man of his twenties would be interested in a girl whose only 15.
Perky boobs?
touchy subject here...i like it! after i finished high school you i was way to busy chasing college girls so there was no need to go back to the younger chicks. i agree with you that girls these days...the 14 and 15 year olds etc are dressing as if they are in their 20's. i can't believe some of the things they wear. all i know is my daughter (my luck i'll probably have 4 girls) will never dress slutty.
by the way...i like the new picture!
I would start by saying that I'm happy to see that the 15 year-old is taking responsibility for being the "group whore." But overall, I see this as punishing the man paying a prostitute and not punishing the prostitute. Men are pigs, animals and boob-fetishists (did I say that) who control themselves up to a point when it becomes illegal... most of the time. Some day I'll go into a few odd experiences but yes, the adult in the relationship would be to blame but what worries me is when someone at the age of 15 has already accepted that she is a whore.
Stupid Blogger delted my comment. Grrr....will come back later to rewrite it. In the meantime I love and miss you!!
The girl is fine with her position in life? It doesnt bother her to be the "group whore"? She must love the attention since she isn't getting it anywhere else in her life. You can blame whoever you want in this mess, but girls now a days use sex as an instrument to get what they want out of life,its not like they have to cut off a finger or anything.its only sex..thats what I was told by a 16 year old girl that I found screwing a 26 year old dude behind the snack bar of a highschool softball game...nice huh? I was going to drag both of them out and call the cops but with her attitude I figured screw it, she is well aware of what she is doing and has her own agenda..
CRASH: Buck's Roommate here, Tony
Shit like that is not her fualt. grrr amekes me so mad
Where do you draw the line when grown ass men. Old mofos, are breakin they necks at these young, fine, innocent things. Some get off on just the untouched I guess. Personally I think cats like that are just corny. Besides I always liked older women. Holla!!!
When I was 18, I was with a 14-year-old for one night. She lied and told me she was 17 (legal in Texas). Nothing happened other than making out, but what if something did? When I found out, I immediately broke up with her and she got really upset and that probably did more harm than good, because she probably became more adamant about faking her age.
The problem in that situation is that people could look different ages. My buddy and I used to drink alcohol underage all the time and got away with it, because he looked like he was thirty, no exaggeration. In Texas, you can serve alcohol to family members, so you could buy a beer for your 16-year-old son at a restaurant. I don't know if it's still that way, with the political correct anti-fun police, but that's how it was when I was growing up.
When I was 24 I had a thing for a 16-year-old. Did I know she was 16? No. She was hot, and looked like she was my age. Not only that, she carried herself like an adult so I had no idea. No, nothing happened, but what if something did?
Now of course, I'll be called a pig and every name in the book by the man-haters out there, but I'm just telling the truth. People do not have their age tattoed on their forehead, and often lie about their age.
I'm probably a horrible example. I've been into men old enough to be my father since I was 15.
Thanks for stoping my my blog. Love yours...that and I think your such a hottie. ;)
There is no line to be drawn. A man that is in his 20's should not be messing with a 15 year old girl. Something is wrong with that. Usually mean with short dicks or low self esteem prey on those girls. You do have your usual stud that will mess with a groupie too.
I need a mature woman that I can learn something from. Isn't that the reason for fucking to teach and be taught new freaky shit. Shit the only thing a young person can teach you is how to get the sticky now later stuff off your hands. HUH? You know what I mean.
In Detroit I passsed up a 16 year old when I was 25. Now she was fine as hell but the age was a problem. All my friends told me that they would have hit it. Damn!!
I'm not going near this, but I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I went back to weekly for my favorite New Mexican.
young enough to bleed, young enough to breed! Just be careful and don't get caught!
Good subject, bad DJ. I'm 27 and recently dated a 22 year old. Granted she wasnt tainted like the women my age, but after a hot second i wanted to bouce my head off a wall. I can imagine going for a fifteen year old. Can they be hot, sure...Are they old enough to date, sure, should they be allowed to date a 27 year old. No. There's a fine line and it seems it should be a case by case basis but i understand the reasoning behind it. At 15 and the years thereabouts, girl are vulnerable. Take someone my age and we have the advantage and therefore, can take the advantage. That's what the law is trying to prevent. Its' a grey area.
Personally, I think rape is only rape if it means taking advantage of another's weakness. It should always be consenting, period. I remember too when I was that young, and an opportunity with an older woman would have been celebrated, not persecuted, and I was in complete control of my faculties. Of course I'm a guy, but a girl has the same or better intelligence, and I would venture that as a girl she has to be more aware than a guy in a sexual way. That said, who in their right mind is laying with a fifteen year old girl beyond the age of 20, what does that person see in someone so young? There is a seen in American Beauty where Spacey finally sees that he has been fantacising about a girl, a little vunerable girl, and walks away from it. I think though, that the law has to draw some line, as a person cannot be convicted for a crime unless it is clearly defined. It's a tough question to answer. Bottom line is that at minimum we morally should have constraint.
I like panty lines
The line isn't too blury. I mean, if she is underage she is underage. And if the guy is the older one, he should take full responsibility.
Blake
There's a certain selfishness to the way people act where sex and relationships are concerned. We believe that attraction is enough to justify the worst of things and that consent, no matter how it's gotten, makes everything alright.
At fifteen, I knew a lot more than I should have. And I did a lot of things then (not sexual) that I wouldn't do now if I could take them back. You do often know what the situation you're getting into is, but you don't know what you know now. And even if you know what you're doing to yourself when you're having sex out on the town, you don't know what you might end up having to deal with down the road, or how you might hurt or change someone else.
I've dated men who've had their girlfriend's abort their babies despite their objections and pleas against it. That hurts people and changes people, and it isn't what you're thinking about when you have sex.
I think fifteen year olds, for the most part, lack the empathy
to truly understand things of this nature.
But they think they understand it, because we let them and we let teen pregnancy become a norm. Because we think back and still think we knew everything, and we didn't.
We draw the line where the line is drawn, because that line worked for years. And yes, some things will be unfair, and yes, some things that shouldn't be allowed will be, but that is the nature of law. And because once you start
lowering the age of consent, you
open the way to a slippery slope.
Someone says,
"Well, what if an eighteen year old wants to be with a sixteen year old, that can't be bad!"
So we say, okay, lower it to sixteen. "But what if a sixteen year old wants to be with a fourteen year old?"
Okay. We lower it again. Til it
goes all the way to, "but what if a seven year old wants to have sex with a six year old?"
There MAY be people who are underage that know what they're doing. But there are also a whole
bunch who really are not. And it
won't destroy someone's life if they have to wait a year for sex, but it might destroy their life
if they're taken advantage of when
they aren't ready.
Rant over. Sorry :P
When I say I knew exactly what I was doing I meant that I knew what sex was. I knew that at that age that when an older man in his twenties trying to talk to me wasn't cool. I know that I was young and going through changes and wanting to be all grown up. I know that even at 18 I thought I knew more than I did from then 'til I was 21 and to now.
By the way, VERY gret comments. Thanks guys.
Damnit, I'm anonymous.
You know what my uncle Fredo always says..."If there's grass on the field, play ball!"
Mad Hatter, now days, many girls mow the lawn. That might not be good advice.
oh...crap...Im so annoyed I can't comment...
~Eyes
Timmortal is right and also? I think that while kids who are 15 THINK they know exactly what they're doing, they don't.
Yes, rape is taking advantage of another's weakness, and in this case, the weakness is that the girl is 15 and incredibly stupid. If you're older and therefore an "adult" you should know better than to hit it with someone so young, even if they say they want it and know what they're doing. It can only lead to trouble, in my opinion.
I'll rather respect the law, cos thats all thats gonna matter if i ever get hauled to court to account for my actions...
Then again, I have no interest in a 15 year old girl to begin with. Guys that find themselves in situations whereby they can only find sexual gratification with a fifteen year old need to SERIOUSLY re-evaluate their lives and validity as men.
If its two kids of the same age, i personally cant find fault with it apart from it being sad that they have lost their innocence at such a young age.
We geriatrics get like that when we think back to our youth... : )
Interesting article. Ive not read the other comments, but my opinion is this.
Technically, yes she was raped, and the guys should have known better than to take advantage, not to mention saving themselves from risk of prosecution for being a sex offender.
Though it must be said, there are hot looking 15 old girls that are and many will frequent places for overaged girls. Therefore it is not just down to the guy.
I do agree that the guys should make sure of the age and look for girls of a legal age and nearer to their own age. However, lets not ignore that guys think with their dicks, and if a hot looking 15 year old is offering 'no strings' sex, many would hit it.
Opinionated Voice
I'm not even touching this topic with my attorney at my side... may I just say HEY Jenn! and leave it at that ;-)
j
I like Jaxe's comment, but I totally agree with you. I used to be pretty strict that I only dated girls with in about 2 years of my age. Now that I am getting older, and so are they i think about 10 is okay, but I am in a way different age bracket. Girls and Boys of 14 and 15 should date others their own age. Great post you Jenius!
This is a very interesting topic. Nice post.
The chicks who say dudes who attracted to 15 year olds are very sad tend to be chicks who don't look 15 anymore. Just an observation.
This is very interesting site...
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