Jenn's Reverie
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Judge Me All You Want, Just Keep The Verdict To Yourself
Recently I haven't been wearing my lip and tongue rings too often. My Sergeant has been coming in early and I don't want him to see the lip ring, so I take it out and forget to put it back in. My supervisor doesn't have a problem with it and lets me wear it since I work graveyard. I don't know that my Sergeant has any personal issues with the piercing, but it is against policy. Which brings me to my question, why can I have my ears pierced five times on each side, but other facial piercings aren't okay? As far as I know, the piercings didn't somehow make me stupid. Maybe some think it's stupid, unecessary pain, but I find it an andrenalin rush and personally like the look. Some may think it's just hideous, but as the old saying goes, "to each their own." This goes for any and every fashion outthere. That's why there ARE different fasions! Everyone likes something different. If we all dressed the same that would be boring and just plain sad. Same goes for vehicles. We all have our own thing going on. I think of myself as a sportscar, some may be an SUV.
Anyhow, the point I'm getting at is you don't have to like the piercings, that's YOUR opinion. But just because you don't like something, don't judge it. I don't see why I shouldn't be able to have the piercing's visible. I know my job and I'm still courteous with those I have to deal with. If someone doesn't want to deal with me because I have a piercing I think that person has personal issues. I could care less if I was on trial for something and the judge had three eyes, so long as he knows what he's doing.
There's many styles I don't like, but I know it doesn't mean the people with these style preferences are idiots. An idiot is an idiot, because THEY are an idiot. Not because of the clothes they wear or the music they listen to, etc. Which also brings me to music. Don't automatically assume that because I have piercings I listen to rock. I mean, I do, but don't assume that. Don't assume some guy that wears P. Diddy's gear listens to only rap. There are different types of music because music to your ears, may not be to mine. Don't get me wrong, I will make fun of you for listening to 50 Cent, but I won't stop being your friend because of it.
I guess I'm just not sure why people are so quick to judge. I have friends and family off all natures. Like night and day. Just because one wants to wear his pants under his ass, doesn't mean he's an idiot, it's just what he likes. I personally don't see what's attractive about it, but it doesn't mean the next person won't. I guess I'm just not one to judge a book by its cover. Yes, I've been faulty of doing it before, but I was in highschool and well, enough said. But as an adult, why judge? I would think most adults have met enough people in their lives to know that judging someone based on appearance is ludicrous. But it's adults that I find to be more judgemental than most. Or at least tied with teenagers.
As a role model for my son, I refuse to raise him with any kind of prejudice. I don't want him to be a judgemental and/or prejudice person, to include racism. I want him to know that if he has a bad experience with a white person, black person, asian person, etc., it's because he had a bad experience with a bad person. And I want him to know that it was THAT person, not that person's ethnicity or tattoo's they had. I want him to know that tattoo's and piercings don't mean someone that someone doesn't believe in God or that they're a trouble maker. That someone who dresses baggy isn't necessarily from a gang.
Anyhow, this topic is neverending and I jumped around all over the place with it. My point, I have gotten four tattoo's (three to show for), my tongue and lip pierced. I am a single parent of a gorgeous, very smart son, a great career that's only getting better, and have many people that love me. If my tattoo's and piercing's are too much for you to handle, you need to rethink things. Close your eyes and "see" who I am; You won't be disappointed. I personally haven't been judged because of my tattoo's or piercing's, but I know many who have.
"One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings." ~Franklin Thomas
Anyhow, the point I'm getting at is you don't have to like the piercings, that's YOUR opinion. But just because you don't like something, don't judge it. I don't see why I shouldn't be able to have the piercing's visible. I know my job and I'm still courteous with those I have to deal with. If someone doesn't want to deal with me because I have a piercing I think that person has personal issues. I could care less if I was on trial for something and the judge had three eyes, so long as he knows what he's doing.
There's many styles I don't like, but I know it doesn't mean the people with these style preferences are idiots. An idiot is an idiot, because THEY are an idiot. Not because of the clothes they wear or the music they listen to, etc. Which also brings me to music. Don't automatically assume that because I have piercings I listen to rock. I mean, I do, but don't assume that. Don't assume some guy that wears P. Diddy's gear listens to only rap. There are different types of music because music to your ears, may not be to mine. Don't get me wrong, I will make fun of you for listening to 50 Cent, but I won't stop being your friend because of it.
I guess I'm just not sure why people are so quick to judge. I have friends and family off all natures. Like night and day. Just because one wants to wear his pants under his ass, doesn't mean he's an idiot, it's just what he likes. I personally don't see what's attractive about it, but it doesn't mean the next person won't. I guess I'm just not one to judge a book by its cover. Yes, I've been faulty of doing it before, but I was in highschool and well, enough said. But as an adult, why judge? I would think most adults have met enough people in their lives to know that judging someone based on appearance is ludicrous. But it's adults that I find to be more judgemental than most. Or at least tied with teenagers.
As a role model for my son, I refuse to raise him with any kind of prejudice. I don't want him to be a judgemental and/or prejudice person, to include racism. I want him to know that if he has a bad experience with a white person, black person, asian person, etc., it's because he had a bad experience with a bad person. And I want him to know that it was THAT person, not that person's ethnicity or tattoo's they had. I want him to know that tattoo's and piercings don't mean someone that someone doesn't believe in God or that they're a trouble maker. That someone who dresses baggy isn't necessarily from a gang.
Anyhow, this topic is neverending and I jumped around all over the place with it. My point, I have gotten four tattoo's (three to show for), my tongue and lip pierced. I am a single parent of a gorgeous, very smart son, a great career that's only getting better, and have many people that love me. If my tattoo's and piercing's are too much for you to handle, you need to rethink things. Close your eyes and "see" who I am; You won't be disappointed. I personally haven't been judged because of my tattoo's or piercing's, but I know many who have.
"One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings." ~Franklin Thomas
posted by Jenn Doll at 8:32 AM
36 Comments:
I am guilty of the same thing. Many of the people I now call my greatest friends are people who I initially thought I wouldn't get along with at all.
But having said that, I would NEVER write somebody off simply because they had piercings or tattoos.
Its all a part of the journey we call life. Enjoy the ride.
To judge is to distinguish good from bad, right from wrong, smart from dumb. While there is nothing inherently dumb or bad about getting a lip piercing, what is incredibly stupid is when the people who need to run from the cops most make it that much harder by wearing pants that keep falling to their knees. I judge that funny and I laugh.
Jenn, you hottie!
As a women with 13 piercings, I congratulate you on your choice of placement of the metal rings.
I HAD to take my tongue ring out when I started this current job three years ago... needless to say my boyfriend was NOT happy about that removal..
Now I just keep my piercings and tattoos where you can't see them without a little flash of flesh.
Could you get those colored plugs for sleepy time?
So, you got five in each ear, your tongue, your lip, so that's 12... didn't you say you had 13? Where is the other?
i'm one of those people who love you for who you are <333
unfortunately taco has the same problem with his piercings and the work place. the military doesn't allow you to have any piercings in while you're in uniform, so he has to remove both of this labret rings every time he goes on duty. his tongue ring stays in usually, but he's careful to stay away from important people. the nipple rings stay though. :o)
My mom almost named me Taco.
I'm rather non-judgemental. I may have my own values that others might not have or observe but if anything I like that. I'd rather be with people that aren't exactly carbon copies of myself because there is so much to be learned from our uniqueness. I'm more concerned with judging myself than anyone else because my opinion doesn't mean sh*t. B)
I have to speak my verdict!
That lip piercing is WAY HOT!
(and I am not much of a piercing fan)
Having had long hair & taken a lifetime of crap for it, I know exactly what you are talking about. I took so much shit for it, and got straight A's so FUCK 'EM ALL!
Then the tattoos started and more grief.
These days, every 18 year old has 100 tattoos and / or piercings so I think the chances are good that societal views will change as these kids take over & old folks pass on.
I agree, and my ex's kids know I love them with all my heart. They know I had long hair, have all sorts of tattoos, listen to head banging bullshit. They also know I'll toss on the Eagles, No Doubt, Blugrass, Irish Celtic tunes, or anything they want to hear. Like your son, I hope they learn that people cannot be pidgeon-holed.
You'll be so proud of him as he grows. My ex's are now 12 & 11. I have known them for 8 years. It is so amazing how they have developed. They are open minded and it is so great to see their minds willing to be exposed to new things. They will say they do not like something, but they do not say it sucks or the person listening to it is a dope. I am so proud of them, and you'll be amazed at the incredible person you are helping to mold with your forthwright teachings to him.
The world's general stupidity will be in stark contrast to his openmindness, and you'll have the mushy gushy feelings for him gorw that you already have so strongly.
It's amusing to me how contradicting people can be. Let's take you, TJ, for example. You exerted much time and engergy into a whole post talking shit about Pikkel Weezel and the entirety of the post was demeaning him and his blog. Okay, fine. So you don't like him.
One of the things you mentioned that you dissliked, amongst MANY others, was the fact that he leaves asshole comments on unsuspecting blogs. Is that not what you've just done?
And a question, unsuspecting? If someone leaves the comments as an option on their blog shouldn't they know that they may be subject to asshole comments, as I've just been subjected to yours?
It's plain as day that your comment was only that of its nature because I've left comments on someone's blog whom you've decided you don't like.
But you, my dear, are a prime example of my post. Judging. You've assumed that because he may be an asshole, that since I leave comments on his blog, that I too am an asshole.
Just an FYI, if you read through my comments on his blog, I've never really commented and/or agreed on his views. Mostly, I just find him quite entertaining and whether or not I agree, I like that he speaks his mind.
Now, if I thought for one second that your comment was based off of what it is you really think about my piercings, then I might want to engage in some sort of intelligent debate with you. BUT, because your juvenile comment was based off of some lame judgement, I'd rather not waste more time than I've already done on this comment.
If you're wanting to flame me, you picked the wrong person. There's no way in hell some person that leaves a commment on my blog is going to get under my skin. I'm sorry that Pikkel was able to do so with you and that you became emotional about it. I really am. I mean, if I let a blog get to me, can you imagine how I'd live my "real" everyday life. Good Lord, I'd be one depressed bitch.
Oh, and if you think my piercing's are stupid, why didn't you just say so? Unsanitary implies that I'm not clean. That's a WHOLE other topic, sweetie.
Oh, and how could I forget; If my facial piercings advertise my lack of intelligence, what does your puerile opinion advertise for you?
Feed the hate.
Hah, I just found out that TJ is running around TRYING to insult anyone who comments on Pikkel's site. The irony.
Thanks for lending me some (im)moral support on my blog. It means alot.
I like piercings, though the look doesn't entirely work for me personally. All my lady-friends are pierced in some form or another :)
)+(
Hey Jenn!
I was gonna say this South African has got your back- but you seem to be able to hold your own DAMN well.
Well, you got my moral support anyway.
And just for fun:
PIERCINGS ARE SEXY
Cheers!
puerile! I get weak kneed around women with good vocabulary.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I love your eyeballs Jenn. I need to touch them.
I'm a 46 year old man that got my earring last year...
I wonder if this was why -
Piercing Motivation
Have a great weekend y'all.
Hey Jenn just be yourself enough not to lose your job! It is funny how people react to things they don't understand.
Aww Jenny you could have a nubbin' and I'd still hit it. God save the Queen.
Body piercings are nasty! All that metal hanging in inappropriate places... Oh! And the tattoos! You must be a degenerate... A proper person would never have...
*snort snort, chuckle chuckle* OK, so I can't even get through that line without cracking up... Sorry.
Unfortunately, people are judgmental. Point blank, it's unavoidable. No big surprize, it just naturally happens. The trick is not to be influenced by someone else's perception of who you should be and how you should look. Break free! Be yourself, be comfortable with who you are, and quit worrying about those who have a narrow minded view of how others should be.
If it helps any, I get sour looks all the time because I don't have piercings (not even in my ears, because of body chemistry) and don't wear a lot of makeup (hypoallergenic my ass!) It's just assumed that I'm too lazy to take the time to pretty myself up for the world...
Holy cow Jenn, what a magical can of worms you've opened here, nothing like challenging some ones morels to bring out the posts.
I grew up as a christian in a small country town, and although we were brought up to be tolerant we just weren't exposed to anything that challenged the norm, when i moved to the city it was completely different,i can remember the first time i saw a transvestite, i sort of suspected but it wasnt untill she let out a giant deep belly laugh that i knew, it was a little weird to start with but once i knew her she was an amazing person and we were great friends (although i never got used to sharing a urinal with a woman hahaha).
I like peircings tattoo's, although i dont like the facial ones as much, you should do what you want, Kurt is a great example of that.
I think you've missed two major points. One is, right or wrong, people are going to judge you by your appearance. The funny thing about this is that the people most likely to judge you are the people that harp on the fact that they have no right to judge you, I think you probably know where I'm going there. Second, I think of everyday life as a game. You have to choose how you play it, every move you make, every thing you do can be likened to a chess move. When you chose to get visible peircings, you made a move, when some self important fool decides to treat you one way or another because of your appearance, they are making a move. I'm pretty sure that you knew before getting them that there were tons of people that would look at you a certain way because of them. It's time for your next move, keep them in or ditch them, fair or not, your next move may determine where you place in the game. Fair no, reality yes. Personally I think they are freakin sexy as hell!!! Leave them in, move in with me and I'll pay your bills.
Great, so I get to a be the bad guy. I don't like piercings. I don't draw a distinction at ears, either, if that bothers you. I can tolerate one piercing in the ear, but even that bothers me. I don't like tats either -- both are huge turn offs for me.
I don't put that into anything other than sexual attraction, though. I do however, judge people on facial piercings and tattoos. It does say something about you, because attire and adornment is an expresion of self. To me, it says, "I lack so much self-confidance that I need to jab pieces of stainless steel into myself to feel good." Tattoos say, "I have so little respect for my body that I'll put doodles and slogans all over it." Both of them say, "I'm such a slave to fashion and peer pressure that I'll mutilate myself to try to fit in. I have little willpower."
Is that an inaccurate judgment? Maybe for you. It is probably pretty accurate for most of the "jab shit in my body" crowd. Are you doing it to tweak the squares? Fine -- I'm a square, and sufficiently tweaked. But you have to remember, you intended to tweak me, so you get to deal with the consequences.
I really look less down on the piercings than the tattoos. The piercings aren't as permanent. I can't look at someone with one and think of them as attractive as they could be, though.
Phelps, you're not the bad guy, just a hardass as I've mentioned before.
Anyhow, my piercing's and tatoo's have never had anything to do with peer pressure. As a matter of fact, I've gone and done some of them alone. All for me, because I like it.
As far as lack of self-confidence, that'd be a negative. As I mentioned in the post, "to each their own." You may like Aber Crombie and Fitch girls, and the next may think they're some trendy kinda girl. Whereas, you probably think my piercing's and tattoo's are some sort of trendy.
Also, I do not lack any self-respect for my body. I may be insecure, as most women now day's, but that's not why I get the tattoo's. It's very easy, actually. I like the way they look. You may not understand why, but I don't understand what is so nice looking about the "square" look. Or, I take that back, I understand why it's nice looking, but it does nothing for me.
As I mentioned music, there are different types for different ears. So as for the look, different looks for different eyes.
To everyone else, that gave me the advice to, 'do what you want.' I do. That's why I have the tattoo's and piercing's, because I wanted them. Whether or not I have them, someone is going to find something to judge. Whether it'd be my hair, style of clothes, or the way I wear my make-up. Without sounding conceited and/or cocky, I've never had problems meeting people, whether it's a friend or someone I might date. The way I see it is, one guy may think I have absolutely nothing pretty about me and the next may think he's never seen something better. We ALL have our preferences, it's nothing to get emotional about.
I like that everyone is unique in their own way. It makes for an interesting world!
Love on.
I love that I was going to make a wise ass joke asking if that was a pair of handcuffs I saw dangling from the bed post - when - NO WAY!
There's a set hanging from your ear! Way cool. I had a tie pin that I used to wear that was a set of hand cuffs. It was funny when a chick asked if I was a cop, and I said no. I just left it at that, and the smarter ones would get it.
Wait! Jenn! Stop! Don't join Blog Explosion, it's the most addictive thing I've ever encountered.
It is kind of interesting if we take this topic a different direction. What if it isn't piercings and tatoos but a deformity, obesity or being bald? It's pretty easy to judge someone that might not have a choice in how they look.
Uh, Mexi and I have made blogging careers ripping on midgets and people missing limbs, so I think that deformaties are covered well. And guy rips on fat chicks all the time. I don't know about bald, unless you count us messing with Mike Tyson.
Oh, and I don't know if you have seen this, but it is topical:
http://www.detnews.com/2005/careers/0506/12/B01-212383.htm
I think tj's PW did the comments theory has a fault. Would it make sense to do it to people she links to? Yes, but what the hell would I do it to people I'm friendly with for? Personally, I don't think she did it, I think it was a third party thinking they were smart.
P.S. your pics drive me crazy!
Jenn check my myspace account.....I made you equal with Jill!!! A GIFT.
Martin (can I call you Martin?), it's like I said, if I didn't have tattoo's or piercing's people would find SOMETHING to judge. Other than my lip piercing, my other piercing's and/or tattoo's are only visible when I show them. When I do have lip piercing in I've not as of yet experienced any kind of discrimination, or even funny looks. I find that most people that I'd LEAST expect to question it or say, "that's cool" are the people who do.
Phelps, thanks for the link. It was an intersting read. And I like how it had a little pro and con. I guess I agree, fully with both. But of course because I think an individual should be able to express their individuality I'm a little more pro. Though, I do take my lip ring out when I'm at work and not on graveyard.
"We are a very conservative industry so we do expect people to be very traditional." What's traditional? Tattoo's and piercing's have been around since ancient times. It's tradition for many.
"Courts have recognized dress codes are an essential part of a company, helping it define a public image." Um, I would like the definition for public image? What public? Like, as in society? Society who say's that skinny girls and fake boobs are what it's all about? I could go with this one forever.
"The area's casinos and most fire and police departments do not want exposed tattoos." If that's not a crock of shit, I don't know what is. I work for a police department and know MANY fireman, and LOTS of them have tattoos. Some of them are "sleeved" and such. I've seen it with the PO's, CO's and then some. It's not just the department I work for either. I talk to police departments all over the US.
All in all, it was a good article and again, I can understand and appreciate both the pro's and con's.
So are you ever going to post photos of said piercings/tattoos?
(insert lascivious grin...)
)+(
Haha. Yeah, I will. You can see my lip piercing on my profile picture. I'm blowing a kiss to anyone who doesn't like the piercing. I keed! I keed!
I'll try and get some of the others, too. Nothing special, really.
Awesome...it's not like you're hard to look at, you know... ;)
)+(
PHWOOOAR! GREAT photo!
I judge you guilty of the charge of being hot. I sentence you to getting done by me!
Jenn, Thanks for passing my Tot. I'm glad you kept the blog name. It rules!
The piercings work for you. Keep them, but people will always judge a book by it's cover. Something we all have to deal with in life I guess.
My ethos would be do as you will, while respecting others rights to do as they will.
Goes well with the Golden rule.
Post a Comment
<< Home